Every Child is One Caring Adult Away From Being a Success StoryBy Dana Bockman, Facilitator of Instruction and Assessment At the beginning of the new teacher days this past August, Superintendent Lane asked all of those in the room to introduce themselves and share the name of a favorite teacher and why. Take a moment and think about your past teachers. Who is the teacher that came to mind? Was it someone that made a difference in your life? Why was this teacher one of your favorites? According to The Search Institute, findings show that when children have strong relationships with caring adults, they are more likely to be engaged at school and more motivated to succeed academically. As Rita Pierson stated, “Students don’t learn from people they don’t like.” When a student views a teacher positively, trusts the teacher, and believes the teacher cares about them, they will perform better for that teacher. This is no different for a student working with a para professional, or an administrator, or any other adult. Who doesn’t work harder for a person that they trust, that supports them, values them, and provides them a positive environment? Consider for a moment the adults with which children spend the majority of their time. The percentage of time with school personnel is substantial. Students are with us 35 waking hours each week, which does not include the bus ride, time with coaches or sponsors of after school activities, those in early to lift weights or finish up homework. Even when at home, research shows that teenagers may only have as many as ten minutes of complete attention from a parent daily. Typically, that ten minutes is spent correcting the child, telling them to clean their room, giving consequences, and so forth. It is certainly not the interactions that lead to strong, healthy adult-child relationships. And for some students, the parent-child relationship may be unhealthy or even nonexistent. So, that leaves us to be that caring adult. Did you know….
I wish I could claim ownership to the title of this blog, because it is such a powerful, important statement. However, the credit goes to teen expert Josh Shipp who shares his story of the one caring adult that saved him. You have the opportunity to be that one caring adult for your students. I hope you will answer that call.
52 Comments
Jackie Panos
10/10/2019 06:56:12 pm
Wow! What a powerful blog post and video! Building positive relationships with students is THE #1 REASON why I teach! I'm sure many other teachers would say the same! However, this blog and video post speaks to me specifically about the relationships we build with our most challenging students. It's easy to "love" the students who always do the right things, are respectful, etc., but it's not always quite so easy to love the ones who challenge us on a daily basis. These kids are the ones who need our love the most. We may very well be the one adult in that child's life who can be part of his/her success story! Thanks for sharing this, Dana!
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Amanda Maki
10/10/2019 07:17:27 pm
Thank you for this reminder! In the world of special education, this mindset is SOOOO important! I may not see the success in test scores, but I may see it in a child's outlook on life and his ability to learn. I want to be that teacher, or truly one of many in my students' lives, that helps them to believe in themselves, because even at a very young age, they can get defeated. Loved the video! Reggie Joiner has some great stuff. Neat that he's a mentor to this guy!
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Rachelle Branum
10/13/2019 10:15:23 am
Love. Thanks!
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Michael Himlie
3/24/2020 03:10:31 pm
I found the fact on children responding to punishment via fight flight freeze response systems to be meaningful for the line of work I am in outside of paraprofessional work, as well as in understanding how students immediately react to our work on correcting bad or inappropriate behaviour. I assume their reactions are a direct result of how they normally respond to what they've come to expect as punishment practices, whether that be at home, amongst peers, or elsewhere. As an educator who instinctively responds to a childs unsafe or non-ideal behaviour in a calm, rational, & hopefully a positive learning experience for us in a teacher/child relationship, I am internally frustrated with my own inability to combat better the ways in which a child has come to expect punishment for a certain action or behaviour. I would be curious to know how we can build relationships that may reframe a childs expectations of adults reactions to their behaviour, to be more inclusive of their humanity & a way in which positive teacher/student relationships are built. This blog & The Search Institute's website have both been helpful in understanding this better.
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3/24/2020 07:36:27 pm
I truly believe in everything that was covered. Just think of the difference you can make in one child’s life by genuinely caring about them. BUT, actions always speak louder than words, so walk the talk!
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Stephanie Radloff
3/25/2020 11:38:11 am
Very powerful! It's wonderful how his foster parents told him he was an opportunity! It's a great reminder that it only takes one person to change the course of a child/adolescent.
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3/25/2020 06:22:10 pm
Thanks, Dana, for sharing these thoughts and the moving video. It reminds me to be thankful for the caring adults I have had in my life and that it is my responsibility to "pay it forward" to those kids who need me to be their caring adult. It's not always easy, but it is so rewarding when having patience pays off with success for that child.
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KIm Underbakke
3/25/2020 06:22:51 pm
The difference you can make in a child's life by being positive, caring about them, and showing them you will be there for them no matter what , and you will not give up on them. That's why I love my job I want to make that difference in a child's life.
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Diana Morrow
3/26/2020 06:06:26 am
Wow! What a powerful video clip to watch. The marble visual was powerful and scary at the same time. As a parent, I think I feel that I will always be part of my children. While that is somewhat true, as adults they will make their own choices whether I agree or not. I just hope that I have equipped them with what they need to know. One of the first students I worked with as a kindergartner, is now a freshman in high school. All the struggles but all the accomplishments! When she would see me outside of school, which was the normal place, she would quite literally, freak out. But, she has has had some amazing people along the way because now when I see her, she talks to me and gives me a hug. Amazing!
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Laura Evelsizer
3/26/2020 06:09:54 am
Wow! I love the think of your favorite teacher and why. Relationships are so important and the video is a great example of why. Thank you for sharing this.
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Beth Wahlberg
3/26/2020 07:33:38 am
A powerful reminder that what we do matters. It is sometimes so frustrating to see a student we've really tried to help go on to make bad decisions or drop out of school. It's tempting to hold back and not get so invested in their success. This reminds me that it's worth it...maybe at some point in the future they will remember that someone at school cared and had confidence in them.
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Jackie Harless
3/26/2020 08:42:26 am
Wow - that video is really powerful! And while I agree 100%, because this is essentially why I went into education in the first place - I think what we need to realize about this relationship building stuff is that it takes time (a luxury we often do not have)!! Especially with our deeply troubled kids who often have built up huge walls around themselves. This is a very real issue to those of us who switch between students, and often only have minutes to work with them each day,and during that time we are supposed to be helping them accomplish their school work. Getting their cooperation to get their work done is difficult to say the least when no time has been allowed to build the essential positive relationship with them.
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Dacia Schnuelle
3/26/2020 09:07:02 am
Such a great reminder of how powerful one relationship with one child can be! I loved the beginning and thinking back to all of the teachers that I have had in my life, so many of them made such a lasting impression on my lie. Thanks for sharing!
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Kenan Willey
3/26/2020 09:14:14 am
Rita Pierson is a gem! I have watched her TED Talk many times and I try to model my behavior daily to be that adult who shows interest and cares.
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Tonya Remick
3/26/2020 09:18:16 am
Making a difference in a child's life is why I do what I do. Being a positive person to them, to help acknowledge the positive things they do, not just the negative. So many of our students need that positive person in their lives.
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Kathryn
3/26/2020 09:28:14 am
I love the idea of reflecting on favorite teachers to draw inspiration for how we would like to act in our own work with children.
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Brittany Theismann
3/26/2020 10:33:11 am
I can remember my favorite teacher! When I was in middle school and needed some extra help on work, this teacher would help me so much and she carried about me and all her students. We had a great relationship and she was someone I could trust. I still see her out and about today and she still makes a point to come talk to me and ask about how I am! Relationships are so important and can leave a lasting memory! be that teacher!
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Judy Kemp
3/26/2020 12:13:28 pm
Wow, what a powerful video!! To think we have the opportunity to changes a students life. To be the one to be there for them, encourage and show our support. To be that caring adult!!
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Robin
3/26/2020 03:23:41 pm
Wow how powerful! We can all make a difference! All we need to do is care. Be there. I want to be that positive support for my kid I come across. I want them to know that I care.
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Ashley Knox
3/26/2020 04:10:59 pm
What an eye opening video to go along with this blog. We NEED to be a trusted and caring adult in our student's lives. We don't know every child's story, but we know what we can do to be trusted by them. We can be the difference!
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Tammie Willford
3/26/2020 06:22:11 pm
This is why I love my job. I hope to make a difference in a Childs life and to be remembered as a positive adult in their life. My favorite teacher was my hardest teacher but I knew he cared and he pushed me to always do my best. He listened and then gave positive feedback. So to build a relationship that's lasting is my goal!
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Connie Krueger
3/26/2020 06:41:07 pm
Although I can't really remember a favorite teacher of mine, I can remember some great teachers my daughters had and what an impact they made in their lives. Very powerful video!
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Sharon Weselmann
3/26/2020 07:00:52 pm
Thank you for sharing this powerful video and thoughts. The marble visual really hit home with me. Younger children have lots more marbles or weeks to have a caring adult make a difference in their life. Remembering “ Every kid is one caring adult away from a success story” is a very powerful statement and one I will remember.
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Steve Nesteby
3/26/2020 07:04:04 pm
This is a powerful blog. With all my years with the school, I hope to have made a difference in a few kids lives. Keep working at it my friends.
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DeAnn Leeps
3/26/2020 08:57:23 pm
I hope I make a difference in my students' lives! The students that are more challenging are the ones that need us the most.
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Olivia Heier
3/27/2020 06:34:05 am
Being a positive, caring, and trusting adult in a child's life is so important! So no matter how difficult a student can be we can't give up!
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Melissa Hunter
3/27/2020 07:31:37 am
Great video! What we say and do can impact these kids forever. I hope to be that person who makes a good impact on their lives.
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Deb
3/27/2020 07:32:55 am
I feel we try to be here for all our students. This video really shows how important it is to never give up on anyone. We can make a difference.
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Chloe Stalberger
3/27/2020 07:39:16 am
The amount of power we have in the students lives is so important. We have the capability to change how they see themselves and others in their lives. Our actions and comments could change a student for the better or for the worse. We need to see each student as an individual and find what we can do to help each of them. Even if it is the smallest gesture.
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Nicolle Korsness
3/27/2020 07:58:15 am
The video was inspiring! One adult in a child's life can make the difference on which path he or she takes. One smile, one time telling a child "I will not give up on you". Thank you for sharing!
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Kris
3/27/2020 08:07:18 am
Connections matter and this video is a great example of that. I recently came across an image on FB that is very fitting to our discussions. It said: "Relationships before Rigor, Grace before Grades, Patience before Programs, Love before Lessons." Dr. Brad Johnson
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Laura Greve
3/27/2020 08:11:58 am
Very moving, brought tears to my eyes.
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Mary Winger
3/27/2020 08:25:41 am
What a powerful article and video! I remember all my teachers and how I felt in their presence. It's very inspiring to get supporting evidence, like statistics and Josh's story, to do whatever we can for students to know we care about them, value them, and support them, regardless of their negative words or actions.
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Denise Solberg
3/27/2020 09:19:05 am
As I read this blog, three students came to mind. I don't work with them regularly, though I often see them at the end of of the school day. I try to talk with them, even if it's just for a minute or to say "see you tomorrow", with a smile. I hope these small connections will contribute to them feeling a sense of safety at school.
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Pam Sullivan
3/27/2020 09:29:29 am
Awesome video, so true. I love the visual of the marbles, really puts life in perspective and how much time we have with a child.
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Greg Murphy
3/27/2020 09:33:48 am
Very good video. Meaningful when it come from the mouth from a person who has been through foster care. Understandable that students don't learn from people they don't like. I don't either.
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Cheryl Cline
3/27/2020 09:58:19 am
"WOW" a very powerful video! I can make a connection to this as years ago I worked with a student and his sisters that came to school hungry and dirty all of the time. We ended up going through the court system to get them removed from the house. I would bring some of my sons clothes to school and let him have them. I helped him see how smart and great he could do at things that he wasn't getting accomplished before that. One day his mother was mad at him (7th grader) and made him come to school in his sisters pink stretch pants and flowered shirt. Thank goodness he knew I had all of the clothes in the nurses office and he quickly changed. It was like this until we got the kids out of the home. Many years later I was sitting at the fair in the barn with our cattle and a young man and woman came up and started talking to me. It was him as a young adult, he said he would have never made it if it wasn't for my caring so much about him. By the time he walked away I was in tears. (Still today I well up with tears just thinking about him and what he said to me). My husband asked me what was wrong when he came over, I said nothing just a success story with someone that I took time to care about many years ago.
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Pamela Sullivan
3/31/2020 06:45:28 pm
What a wonderful story Cheryl. Total proof of what 1 person can do for a student, you should be proud of yourself.
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3/27/2020 10:32:35 am
Opportunities happen all the time. What do we do with them? Do we walk away shaking our head at the student's behavior or do we stop and be that one caring adult? There are many times, as I walk down the halls of DHS, that I hear or see something which catches my attention. Most times, I am sad to say, I just keep walking. I don't have the time or the effort to do anything. Really?? Sorry, I know that is just a lame excuse, but I am human and we all have done this one time or another, if we are being honest. The video was very personal and powerful. I need to remind myself that it takes just the one opportunity, one caring person and one comment or action to start a change for the good. I need to start to "be the difference".
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Paul Snell
3/27/2020 11:28:44 am
The best video I've came across from GoalCast. Everything in the video was true. We all come across tough students that will challenge us, but we have to look at it from their point of view at times and they quite possibly don't have too much hope outside of the positive relationship they are trying to build with us.
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Connie Haas
3/27/2020 11:49:30 am
The difference a teacher can make is amazing. In middle school I went from my first D to an A in history, and it was mostly because of the difference in teachers--one acted like he couldn't wait to get out of the class and the other was engaging, caring and patient.
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Stephanie Haugen
3/27/2020 11:56:39 am
Great blog- I do pride myself and allow every student that comes into contact with me to know they are safe and I will listen and I care. I know there are difficult students- but they need the extra support also. Make a difference - always.
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Susan Dugger
3/27/2020 12:27:40 pm
Very moving! Every day we have an opportunity to show a child that they have value and are loved. I knew from the time I was a teenager that I wanted to be a teacher. I am adopted and I always felt that my parents were amazing role models and I was so fortunate to have them in my life. There are so many children in this world that are not as fortunate. They need the nurturing of adults at school and other places. Some of my most challenging students were the ones that I remember most fondly. Never give up on them!
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Sue Lansing
3/27/2020 01:25:06 pm
What a moving message and video! Helps me to remember that any little thing I do during a students day may make a difference. Focusing on the positive rather than always the negative helps as well. When I think about some of my favorite teachers, all of these come to mind!
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Brooke
3/28/2020 10:48:52 am
Wow - this video brought me to tears. Connections matter and one positive connection with an adult can change a child's world. I strive to be a positive influence on students in our classroom and outside of our classroom.
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Jaclyn Zidlicky
3/28/2020 02:33:00 pm
What an inspiring video, I remember being in high school and having that one teacher always willing to listen to me. Let me blow off steam in their room when I needed to.
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Michaela Seeman
3/30/2020 11:18:34 am
What a great message and reminder of why we do what we do. All of us have such a big impact on the students, often more than we ever realize. At the beginning of the year, Sarah Tobiason also challenged us with going "one more round" for our students. When it's difficult and we are struggling to see how we can help a student best, we need to go one more round to try. We might need to reach out for help from others, but we need to keep at it. This reminder has helped me as I approached challenging situations this year and helped me look at the situations as opportunities for learning for myself and the students.
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Lynnette Borsheim
3/30/2020 11:26:33 am
Such a powerful video. A good reminder to make sure what we are doing is positive and to make connections with those who made need a little extra.
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Pam Dundee
4/2/2020 12:26:18 pm
What a powerful video! It really enforces why I am doing what I am and why. I am so glad to be there to keep our students safe, and
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Sarah Zbornik
4/6/2020 07:24:04 am
A powerful video, indeed! Each of us has the power to make a difference every day. It is interesting to think that our interactions with students could ripple for years ahead.
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Andrew Ellingsen
4/6/2020 07:53:58 am
This post helps put into words something I've long believed but sometimes lose focus on -- building trusting and supportive relationships has to be prioritized above trying to cram curriculum into an always-too-short period of time. "Students don't learn from people they don't like."
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