By Liz Fox, DHS Collaborative Teacher Along with my colleagues, I value building relationships with my students. When I first heard the (now possibly trite) dictum “Kids don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” I thought, Yes - this!
I engage in light-hearted conversation with my students all the time, so I stopped in my tracks when I read the intro to Jennifer Gonzales’s podcast “The Magic of Validation” from her Cult of Pedagogy series. Here it is: “I have a multiple-choice question for you. Suppose you’re standing at your classroom door, greeting students as they arrive. One of them—let’s call him Gabe—comes through and sees that on the daily agenda, you’ve written ‘Choose topics for speeches.’ Right away, his shoulders slump. ‘Oh man,’ he says to no one in particular, ‘I hate speeches!’ What do you say? A. What? Speeches are awesome. B. You talk all the time! You’re gonna love it. C. Shocker! Gabe has another complaint. D. Gabe, we enter the room silently, please. E. What do you hate about speeches, Gabe? With options A through D, you’re arguing with Gabe, dismissing his feelings, attacking him personally, or ignoring what he said altogether. But with option E, you’re reacting with curiosity. You’re trying to learn more. With option E, you’re already on your way to validating Gabe’s point of view.” I could honestly see myself answering A or B, and that piqued my interest in the rest of the podcast. I’m really glad I took the time to check it out; it does an excellent job in discussing validation to improve the emotional well being of not only students but colleagues as well. I have been making more of an effort to validate my students’ feelings, and hopefully it’s making a difference in how they feel about school. The podcast was eye-opening for me, and I wanted to share this with others who may be interested. If you don’t want to listen (and you’d like to avoid the author’s sponsorship shout-outs), feel free to read the transcript instead.
7 Comments
Sarah Zbornik
3/10/2020 06:07:32 am
Thanks, Liz, for sharing! Jennifer Gonzalez is one of my favorite podcasters. It reminds me to be curious and kind. One of my favorite techniques it to say back to a student (or adult) exactly what they have said but in a question form. When I have remembered to do it, it has worked wonders.
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Zach Fromm
3/10/2020 09:26:44 am
Speaking of cliche and trite: "Maslow before Blooms"
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Laura Evelsizer
3/23/2020 08:45:13 am
Thank you for posting this! Iam looking for a good podcast and Jennifer Gonzales’s podcast sounds like a good one to catch up on. Validation is huge no mater the age or the problem. Thanks for the reminder.
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Kim Underbakke
3/25/2020 05:29:19 am
Thanks for sharing this . Its sounds like a very interesting podcast and i cant wait to
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Jenn
3/25/2020 11:26:14 am
Liz, this multiple choice quiz was something that made me think! I often have to think about my words in situations such as this. I understand that choosing the wrong words can only lead to that student (or son...haha) becoming more displeased or discouraged about a task or expectation. Thanks for sharing!!
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Linda Kirkeberg
3/28/2020 01:19:40 pm
Thanks Liz for sharing this podcast. I am hoping that I can apply what I learned when visiting with students. In fact after school I was visiting with a student and he told me he sucked at math. I will hopefully have a new approach on how to respond to such comments.
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Greg Murphy
4/21/2020 04:53:02 pm
Option E starts the conversation with the student so both student and teacher can meet on common ground and explore all the options available when we are open to new things or seeing old things like public speaking in a new light.
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